You’ve been lied to, but lets me honest, we all have. Society has trained you to believe that pain is something to be avoided, numbed, or feared. But let me tell you something unethical—pain is not your enemy. Pain is your teacher, your fuel, your badge of honor. Every powerful woman who has built an empire, crushed her goals, and changed the world has faced pain head. They have used it to propel themselves forward, transform their life, impact the world and be pinnacles for their families. 

The truth is, if you’re not willing to face pain, you’re not ready for success. So, let’s cut the excuses and get real about why pain is the key to everything you’re working toward.

The Psychology of Pain and Success

Here’s the science behind it: pain and success go hand in hand. Why? Because your brain actually rewards you for pushing through pain. When you endure discomfort—whether emotional, mental, or physical—your brain releases endorphins, making you stronger, sharper, and more resilient.

That’s why the most successful people aren’t the ones who had it easy. They’re the ones who got knocked down and stood back up again and again. And again, and again, did I mention again. Apostle Paul said it the best, "Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope." Romans5: 3-4

The Hard Truth: Pain Builds Resilience

You can’t appreciate success without pain. Period.

Success without pain is like a diamond without pressure—it simply doesn’t exist.

Imagine planting a seed. You can’t just toss it in the dirt and expect a tree to sprout overnight. First, the seed has to crack open, break apart, and push through the darkness of the soil. It struggles, stretching toward the surface, facing resistance every step of the way. But that struggle is what makes it strong. Without the pressure, the roots wouldn’t grow deep enough to sustain the tree when the storms come.

Success works the same way. Without pain—without the failures, setbacks, and lessons—you wouldn’t develop the strength, resilience, and wisdom needed to sustain your success when challenges arise. The struggle isn’t a sign to stop, it’s proof that growth is happening.

Every rejection, failure, and setback is a lesson wrapped in discomfort. And if you learn how to use it instead of running from it, you become unstoppable.

Take it from Sophia Amoruso: “Pain is a byproduct of life. That’s the deal. It’s not a grand evil scheme, it’s just a fact. The trick is not to let it stop you.”

Need proof? Look at the stats:

• 50% of successful entrepreneurs experience at least one business failure before they make it big.
• J.K. Rowling was rejected by 12 publishers before Harry Potter became a global phenomenon.
• Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first television job before becoming one of the most influential women in media.

Success isn’t about avoiding pain—it’s about embracing it and refusing to become a victim of a situation that WAS NOT meant to define you. Most of us are dodging pain like it’s a game of laser tag, and oh boy, I love me a good game of laser tag. Matter of fact, I am the undefeated champion within my household. Reality check, I should be just as undefeated when processing my pain. Are you?  Because let’s be real, if pain had the final say, we’d all still be crying over scraped knees from kindergarten.

For this reason, we must "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4
 

3 Lies You’re Telling Yourself About Pain (And How to Fix Them)

Let’s break down some of the biggest lies, I hear clients tell themselves.

1. "My pain was all for nothing." 

The Truth: Every painful experience carries a lesson. Your pain is refining you, sharpening you, and preparing you for something greater. If you refuse to see the lesson, you’ll keep repeating the same struggle. Learn from it, grow from it, and use it as fuel.

Journal your setbacks. Write down what happened, what you learned, and how you can apply that lesson to your business journey. Neuroscience proves that writing things down strengthens memory and neural pathways, helping you process challenges more effectively. Use your pain as market research, what struggle did you face that you can help others overcome? That’s your business idea waiting to happen.

If you need some positive mental fortitude, remember what was said in Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

2. "It is what it is." 

The Truth: No, it’s what you make it. Adopting a passive attitude toward pain is a cop-out. You are not a victim of your circumstances. You have the power to shift, pivot, and rewrite the narrative.

Reframe your setbacks. Instead of saying, “I failed,” say, “I learned what doesn’t work.” Neuroplasticity which is the brain’s ability to rewire itself, proves that intentional positive reframing strengthens resilience. Apply this to your business. If a strategy isn’t working, don’t quit. Pivot, test a new approach and adjust until you find what clicks. Every setback is data that refines your business plan.

As soon as you start to talk yourself into a mental pit, REPEAT AFTER ME...According to Phillipians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

3. "I’m a better person without it." 

The Truth: Are you though? Or are you just afraid to confront it? Pain is part of your story, and owning it makes you stronger, not weaker. The most powerful women in history didn’t erase their pain—they transformed it into purpose.

Think about Oprah Winfrey, who endured childhood trauma and unimaginable hardships. She didn’t bury her pain—she used it as fuel to build an empire that empowers millions. Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, spent years facing rejection, selling fax machines door-to-door, and failing repeatedly before her billion-dollar idea took off. And let’s not forget Malala Yousafzai, who turned an assassination attempt into a global movement for girls' education.

Your pain isn’t here to break you—it’s here to build you. Imagine a sculptor working on a masterpiece. If she avoided chipping away at the stone because it looked “too painful,” the statue would never emerge. Your struggles are the chisels, shaping you into the extraordinary human that your meant to be. So, stop running from your past. Face it, own it, and turn it into the foundation for your future success.

Turn your pain into purpose. Research shows that post-traumatic growth, using adversity as a catalyst for personal development, leads to higher success rates. Ask yourself: How can your past struggles shape your mission? If you’ve experienced financial hardship, start a business teaching women financial independence. If you’ve overcome self-doubt, create a coaching program empowering others. The world needs your story. 

📖 2 Corinthians 12:9 – "But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

Time to Reframe Pain

Gloria Steinem said it best: “The truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off.”

Your pain isn’t a roadblock—it’s the very thing that will catapult you to the next level. Let it fuel your ambition, push you toward your dreams, and make you unstoppable.

So, the next time you face rejection, failure, or heartbreak, don’t shrink. Stand tall, take a deep breath, and remind yourself: this is the price of greatness—and you’re more than capable of paying it.

📖 Isaiah 41:10 – "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Are You Ready to Channel Your Pain into Power?

Stop waiting. Stop doubting. Start transforming. Join my Impact to Income masterclass and learn how to turn every setback into a stepping stone toward your next level of success.

Click here to enroll now! 

www.coachingcollectivecompany.com